We’ve all done it by accident. Oh Crap, we say. We check the bottom of our shoes, swear (using the word which is the name of the stuff we stepped in), and try to find a patch of grass or other tool to get it off.
Not stepping in dog poop is an acquired skill every French person learns through years of practice. As an American, I seem to be without this skill. They don’t even seem to be looking down at the sidewalk, unlike me, who’s looking down as much as I am up! Safely traversing the pavement is an art and an exercise of one’s subconscious. To be on a sidewalk and remain poo-free means your eyes must briefly scan downwards taking in the next 10ish feet of pavement. Having mapped your route, you stride along in moderate confidence until the process repeats.
France is a beautiful country. The architecture, the mountains, the medieval villages, the fields of sunflowers, the markets, the cafés…just don’t forget to look down as much as you look up, because just as you’re saying, “Oh it’s SO pretty here!”...click... all of a sudden you step and slide on a mushy turd as you snap your photo. Oh crap. And just when you think it couldn’t get any worse you realize that you’re wearing flip flops. Le ew.
I’ve noticed that in general, the folks in France aren't pooper scoopers. And if you see one doing it there’s a good chance it’s an expat or a tourist who brought their dog along.
Not stepping in dog poop is an acquired skill every French person learns through years of practice. As an American, I seem to be without this skill. They don’t even seem to be looking down at the sidewalk, unlike me, who’s looking down as much as I am up! Safely traversing the pavement is an art and an exercise of one’s subconscious. To be on a sidewalk and remain poo-free means your eyes must briefly scan downwards taking in the next 10ish feet of pavement. Having mapped your route, you stride along in moderate confidence until the process repeats.
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| scooping Le Poo |
There are about 200,000 dogs in Paris alone and those fur balls produce 16 tons of the brown stuff daily!! If you’re caught not disposing of the dog poop you can receive a fine – I’ve read anywhere from 183 euros up to over 400 euros. Does the size of the steaming pile reflect the size of the ticket? I’m told the fines are rarely enforced leaving not much incentive to clean up after your dog. Maybe people here are too posh to squat and scoop the poop? Can you really see a lady in a fur coat in the 16th arrondissement of Paris bending down to bag it up?
Some neighborhoods encourage you to pick up after your dog by posting signs like “J’aime Mon Quartier, Je Ramasse” (“I like my neighborhood, I pick up my dog poop”).
Dog turd infested pavements create obstacle courses only the observant and agile can navigate. Forget about it if you’re pulling a grocery cart, walking with a cane, pushing a stroller or in a wheelchair. Often you’ll see the evidence of merde victims: a large brown skid mark followed by a pattern of diminishing patches. This is not just a Parisian problem, but one that seems to plague France as a whole. It’s funny though – the same neighbor of mine who will complain about having just stepped in crap here in our residence (and I’m being nice by saying ‘complain’ – ‘temper tantrum’ is more like it) is the same man who lets his own Yorkie make little brown deposits anywhere he’d like! I’ve never seen this neighbor scoop the poop. I've been told by the locals that, “Stepping in zee poo wiz your left foot eez good luck.” I think that’s some good luck I’ll pass on.
In the fall when leaves lay on the ground you have to be careful here not to walk on the leaves for fear of what lies beneath!! Maybe you romantically kick the leaves about, or like me; you like to step on a nice, crispy one. Only I don’t get the satisfying crunch but a smoosh instead. You pray it's just mud.
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| adorable little bugger |
There must be millions of Yorkies here. They seem to be the little dog of choice! They are pretty darn cute. These little dogs don’t donate large piles of crap that you can see from a mile away but rather small nuggets, or what I call tootsie rolls (sorry, for any tootsie roll lovers out there) making their poop that much harder to see. Nobody likes to make a tiny pancake out of a Yorkie nugget. And don’t underestimate the small stuff – small dog poop smells just as bad!
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| French dogs wear scarves! |
Happy trails.
