Pushing the Limits of the Waistband | a Dinner Adventure in the South of France

Ludovic, my husband Pascal, me, David

You haven't lived till you've been out with friends dining at a French restaurant that serves a 6-course meal and keeps you up well past your bedtime. Even the cat gives you the evil eye..wondering why you've been out so late. With a full stomach, and feeling like you just might burst, you'll swear that you'll eat nothing buy veggies the next day to off-set the massive amount of food that you somehow inhaled on this evening.

It was a chilly January night in the south of France. A cozy dinner and good wine at a restaurant sounded just perfect. Our ride picked us up and whisked us away toward food heaven. Early evening in January is dark which kept me from seeing the landscape during the next 45 minutes that we were in the car, but as always, the evening lights that decorate the foothills are a pleasure to see. Like twinkling Christmas lights.

up and up we go...

My husband was becoming quite hungry. As his wife, I knew this because he had become very quiet. But we drove on. Winding this way and that. Climbing and descending, ears plugging and popping in accordance. Then my husband said, "Are we in Italy?!" and everyone laughed, because it did seem like we'd been driving forever. The car seemed to be climbing higher and higher, twisting and turning on S-shaped roads. I looked out the window to see hundreds of tiny lights far below us. We were climbing along the edge of a mountain or large foothill I suspected, and the drop off was steep. Reminding us that a portion of the mountain was still above our heads, I saw signs warning drivers of falling rocks.

Our minivan full of people, laughter and good conversation, then turned onto an impossibly small street, which I was surprised and slightly horrified to find out was a 2-way street. Part mountain goat, the vehicle climbed and climbed, with much gumption I might add, until finally we reached the top. The streets are small, and everything seems like it's hiding from you, especially in the dark with minimal street lighting. But eventually we found the restaurant, and just in time too, as my husband was starting to eye the car upholstery as a hamburger.

We were welcomed by the restaurant's owner to a very warm, rustic, and pleasant establishment. Still in the holiday spirit, the proprietor had all the Christmas garland up. The place had a Provencial feel to it, and when the aroma from the kitchen hit you, you knew you were in trouble. Mmm, comfort food. We are going to test the waistbands tonight! I'd read about restaurants like this. Buried deep in France's countryside, the restaurant's patrons easily fall victim to the aroma of the kitchen's simmering meats and sauces, and will-power will be of no match for the temptation that each mouth-watering platter will tease you with. To further seal the deal, the jovial owner who slides the platters of heavenly food onto your table will smile warmly at you, and the turned up ends of his bushy mustache just sort of say, "Go on, eat, and relax..you deserve it." And as if that's not enough, you notice on the table several bottles of red wine and buckets of chilled rose.

But before you take your seat and dig in, you must say Bonsoir to all 25 people in your party. It's a typical French custom that you double-cheek-kiss tout le monde. This is meant to break the ice and just gives everyone a chance to meet. And important to note, it's just the smallest part of the side of your lips, if even, that should actually touch the recipient's cheek. You're essentially kissing the air next to their head. If you receive full lip contact on your cheek, that's wrong, not to mention gross. Being American, this is still a hard custom to get used to. Alas, you must follow the ritual, and before you know it it's done!

Finally, we seated ourselves at the long, narrow, Z-shaped table. The table itself was beautiful for a country restaurant but I doubt my hungry Frenchman noticed! Dressed in white linen, the table was decorated with ruby red linen napkins and cobalt blue bottles of water. Moments later, the first course arrived....

Over the next 30 minutes we enjoyed platters of charcuterie and salade nicoise. Charcuterie is a plate of olives and fine meats, thinly sliced and some aged. Enjoy this on a chunk of baguette with or without real butter. Salade nicoise is a plate that starts with lettuce or a layer of rondelle cut tomatoes on the bottom, to be topped with tuna, hard boiled eggs, herbs, olives, peppers, whole green beans, and can have anchovies as well. With happy conversation that I mostly didn't understand going on all around me, it was nice to see everyone talking and eating and enjoying this delicious food. And this was just the beginning.

Next came another starter that was bizarre but nevertheless, tempting. The size of a hand, it was a puffed pastry of many different shapes that was cooked in oil and had deliciously crunchy edges. Hidden inside the dough were slices of zucchini. Delicious. This starter went down all too easily. Also on this platter were sauce soaked wild mushrooms, that were from the mountains I was told. "They're not those little mushrooms from up north," I was assured. What they were was divine. I have never had such flavorful mushrooms. And the sauce they were in, oh! With complete disregard for any diet, I was happy to see the next round of platters (still of the 1st course) placed before us. Stuffed tomatoes, stuffed peppers and stuffed onions. Stuffed with what I don't know, some sort of a meat with herbs and a little oil. Scrumptious. I had the red pepper. I looked at my husband and saw the same look on his face that was on mine..pure happiness!! Everything was delicious and it was about to get better.

gnocchi

Next came the second course. Ooohs and Ahhhs crashed like a wave over the table and I suddenly realized that I needed to pace myself if I wanted to enjoy everything! Platters of gnocchi were served. Drizzled in a lovely red sauce, I took just a little. People seem to love gnocchi here. Me, I was saving room for the rest of the courses. Part 2 of the 2nd course descended upon us and it was another Italian pasta that everyone knows, ravioli! Only believe me, this was no ordinary ravioli. Tiny pillows, green in color because it was spinach pasta I suppose, was stuffed with little dollops of meat and herbs and was nothing short of divine. Topped with cheese, I hardly noticed that I'd eaten probably 20 of them without blinking. It was the best ravioli I'd ever had. More red wine please.

Laughter erupted next to me as my husband and his friends were having a ball talking about something. On the other side of me was one of the wives, who enjoyed speaking English with me. She was very kind and we enjoyed nice conversation. Being American, and therefore not accustomed to this type of meal where you sit for hours and enjoy course after course, I found myself wondering at this point, just how many courses was the owner going to dazzle us with? How much trouble is my stomach in? Are we near the end? Not even close.

la Daube (French meatloaf) | So, so good!

At this point, we'd enjoyed the starters, and the pasta..several different platters of each - ok, that's 2 courses. In all, we were served a total of five big courses. FIVE! It's a wonder the six of us could fit back into our friend's minivan at the end of the night! And next came the meats....Over the next hour we enjoyed the 3rd course. This one was quite literally "the meat and potatoes" of the evening. Platter after platter arrived of roast beef covered in mushrooms, and la daube, which is stewed beef, and was perfect. The sauce that covered this stewed beef was like nothing I have ever had - and yet it was merely gravy. But the French do sauces like no other. La Daube was accompanied by small, lightly fried potatoes and by those same award winning mushrooms. I don't even remember what was going on at the table at this point. I was in food euphoria. The food was that good. Somehow a second chunk of la daube found its way to my plate, and with some more red wine poured into my glass, there could've been a rowdy uproar at a neighboring table and I wouldn't have noticed. When food is that good, it can transport you to another place. The waiter arrived with the next platter of the 3rd course and I couldn't help but wonder just what part of my stomach still had a little room left in it. Placed before us were platters of lapin, rabbit. But I knew that we still had the cheese course and dessert course, and Houston, we're gonna have a problem if we eat the lapin too. I'm sure that along with everything else, the owner, who is also the Chef, prepared the rabbit to perfection. But that will have to wait for our next visit I thought.

Course #4. Somehow I found a small corner of my stomach not yet assaulted by the food. You must leave room for cheese. It's tradition in France that you eat cheese, more bread, and salad greens drizzled with balsamic vinaigrette at the end of the meal. An enormous round silver tray of cheese made its way around the table. Brie, camembert, roquefort, tomme de savioe - just to name a few. My favorite is brie because it has a soft, creamy texture. Spread onto a chunk of baguette, it's heaven. There are about 500 different types of cheese in France. I think we were given about 15 different choices at dinner. It was a very generous variety that the chef bestowed upon us. Well done again, Chef!

only part of our table, the arrival of the cake, applause for the Chef!

Somehow my wine glass filled itself up again and I enjoyed some more local flavor with the 5th course. Dessert. And a dog? That's one thing you'll notice about restaurants in France - dogs are welcome. A large black and white collie wandered around the restaurant saying bonsoir to people. No one minds. It's normal! He belonged to a local who I think just stopped by to chat with the Chef. Somehow, seeing the happy dog, made this rustic hideaway all the more pleasant. As if to say, we welcome all! Back to the 5th and final course. A grand white cake arrived with sparklers..the lights went dim, and everyone applauded. Certainly the Chef at this point deserved a round of applause! A large 3-layer sheet cake, it was blanketed with sugary vanilla frosting and topped with strawberries, clementines, and hundreds of curled shavings of white and dark chocolate. I was halfway through when I realized it was infused with some sort of alcohol. Not a huge fan of alcohol in desserts, but somehow I was still able to finish my piece.

Finally, it was time for coffee. It was 11pm and we were finally full! The coffee (an espresso, which is considered the same as a coffee here in la France) was again, delicious. Can this Chef do no wrong? Perfect espresso. Thick, rich, full-bodied, it was the perfect end to a perfect meal.

But there's more! The owner came out with a tray of tiny 3" glasses with what looked like lemonade in them. Only I knew that it couldn't be lemonade. I took a glass and was told that it was to aid with digestion. Mm-hmm, sure. Just smelling the "lemonade" burned my nose hairs. I don't remember the name of this little power packed punch (limoncello?), but it was just fresh lemon, sugar and clear homemade 40% proof liquor. Danger! After 2 sips I started making seductive passes at my handsome husband.

Well I'm no restaurant critic but if I were, I'd give this restaurant 3 stars. The highest I believe a restaurant can earn is 4 stars, but to fairly hand out the 4 stars, you have to visit the establishment several times to see if every time is a winner. Well this one night for us was a winner. We ate like Kings!! And I hope we will have the chance to return again. We thanked the Chef on the way out, shook his hand and promised to return. His restaurant's service, atmosphere, quality of food and value for the money were all a cut above the rest. It was hard to find, but one just might consider that a true gem.

~ Le Restaurant La Guinguette Gaudoise, in La Gaude, south of France ~ 3 Stars